Thoughts on a Monday afternoon

****** my post disappeared due to fail of connection..........................

Well, I was just saying I'm waiting to eat lunch. I'm pretty hungry :D About an hour ago I finished cleaning. Almost usual time even if I fell asleep on the sofa just after breakfast. I was so tired, I guess I needed some extra rest. It's fine, I know the reason of the tiredness :)

Do you realize it's already November??? And that the year of 2009 almost has come to its' end??? Subhanallah time flies by! Well not always, only when you're busy with doing things and not just sitting around doing nothing waiting for life to happen...... Hamdella

I want to

I want to:::
watch:
New Moon
The curious case of Benjamin Button
Jennifer's body
Obsessed

change:
my jeans to a smaller size
hairstyle *sigh*

buy:
PJ
more clothes

I miss:::
jogging
playing wii
family
fresh air
my jackets
my boots
and my training outfit............

Lunch is waiting

To get eaten.

Pasta and meat sauce with parsley + sallad, is on the menu today. And OJ to that, have to refill my iron levels. Parsley (contains lots of iron) and OJ with Vitamin C which makes it easier for the body to consume(?) the iron.

Aotch, I hate the "first days". I love that those only comes once a month.

I only did a quick cleaning up today, put the laundry away, did the dishes, cooked and now waiting to eat. Later in the afternoon I'll freshen up. I guess that's enough for the day. I'm not feeling great.........

Everyday

Morning: Nescafe 3 in 1, I feel more alert after it, don't know if it's my imagenation or the caffeine, all I care about is getting alert ;)
Evening: Tea

Sunday

So ye, I haven't had the time to blog for some days. I think you can stop expecting me to do that, I just don't have time and nothing special to blog about.

The last couple of days we have been doing this:
waking up late
biking
BBQ
shopping(tops, shoes and jeans for me yey)
cleaning/laundry/cooking etc

Well I have to go.. Have to fix some lunch, have no idea what to dooooooooo!!!!

Goodmorning!

I woke up at 5 yey, stayed in bed for another 45 minutes till I finally left the coziness=cozy-ness(is that even a word? LOL) I've had my 'nescafe', and now I'm just relaxing and checking some things on the internet.

People thought I wouldn't be able to wake up in the morning. Hah!!! Did I prove you wrong yet?? Well tiredness wasn't mentioned, just that I wouldn't be able to wake up. :)

I think I better go and put some laundry in the washing machine and maybe do the dishes from this morning and last night? Ye, I saved them from yesterday till today, because I didn't want to waste time standing in the kitchen. Do you blame me?


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I want to go shopping LOL. So many things I need to buy and ye some clothes too. Maybe after tomorrow. I guess no need to hope for later today. Too much things to do! It's okey >D

Hello, I'm back!!!!

Ye, I haven't had the time to blog or read any of your blogs in a while. But now I'm back, but who knows for how long it'll lasts?

I won't be able to be connected all day as before, I have too much to do hamdella. I've missed it. It's the most wonderful feeling I get when I sit down in the afternoon after all work. So satisfying. And beside I don't have the same access to the internet as before. From 24/7 (well except for for the daily 3 hours when we didn't have any electricity) to around 1 hour a day.

I'll try to keep blogging everyday anyway. I can always type the post and later when I get access to the internet publish it :D

So what have you been up to while I was away?

What did I tell you?

Didn't I tell you yesterday that I'll wake up today as my normal self?
Well thats exactly what happened. And thank God for that because I really needed to be in a good mood, patience and smiling. It was such a long day today. Just hope that our efforts make a difference. Inshallah.

>''<

I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I'm so upset and annoyed. Too much of the same stuff at one day. I'm tired, annoyed, upset, and angry....
But tomorrow is a new day and I hope I'll wake up as my normal self...

Yiiii

I went to the hospital today, to meet the doctor and get my test results. We arrived at the hospital at 10.50. My appointment with the doctor was at 11, so we were on time ;)
At 11.50 the doctor welcomed us. Finally, after some nagging from dear mother in law :D I just sat down as a good swedish girl, as usual ;) But I guess I better learn how NOT to have patience or I'll end up waiting for 100 hours for my turn... Bad system.

Anyway, the doctor listened to my heart and heard it beating your name :P It was normal and everything seems to be okey, hamdella.
Later the doctor told us to go to the reception in the other building to get the testresults and later go to room 212 to get them validated.


Total time of hospital visit: 120 minutes.
Actual time with the doctor: 10 mnutes

Something about nothing

We went to a birthday party today. It was pretty fun, I acted as a photographer and spent most of the party taking pictures. Smart move :D

Later we went and ate at chopstick. It was delish, but not as delicious as it use to be. I don't know if that was because of the restaurant or because my husband wasn't with us. Food does taste better when he is around and places looks more beautiful and live just goes on so smoothly:D

Iam going to the doctor tomorrow to get the test results, wish me good luck.

Saturday

So before yesterday, I went to the doctor. And you know what? My arm is still in its normal color. I just got a small spot from where he put the needle. Last time I gave blood for a test I got a big ugly bruice.

They were friendly and professional at the hospital. They had lots of patience because I actually was kind of annoying. Not by meaning though, but I just want to get it right:)

I'm feeling better today, I think Iam 100% well now, but Iam just feeling tired and I just took a nap of 3 hours today... Hm....

I ate my way throu this day

Since I didn't have breakfast till around 11-11.30, except for some juice and chocolate, I had to make up for it somehow. For lunch I ate 2 portions of lubiye and rice(my kind of portions okey!) ½ pomegranate. For snack I ate 2 mini bananas equal to one:D For late late snack I ate one avocado and one apple. One after eachother of course. And now I'm drinking some more juice. I need to regain some power that I've lost during my sick days. I'm trying to build up my body so it won't get sick like this another time. I HATE being sick. I'm so not used to being totally knocked out and not being able to do anything. Not even able to smile:( I have been so tired. I'm still not 100% back to 'me'. But pretty close. But I won't rush anything, going to fast may kick me back where I've just been----->totally down under suffering from the flu. Don't want to go there again. To get the flu once a year or even 2 is acceptable, but not three times. I've already have the flu twice this year, so I guess I'm safe now? Inshallah.

Ye, I still have headache...

Goodnight

Feeling great! Hungry, thirsty and with a twist of headache

Great start of the day don't you think? :P

I'm sitting here fully dressed to go out and full make up and I fixed my hair. Or well at least I combed it ;) Iam waiting for my mother in law, she is taking me to the doctor for a check up. I'm nervous for it because it's only my second time to go to the doc's here. And the reason I'm hungry and is because I haven't eaten for 14 hours. And ye I think the headache will disappear if I could just have something to drink. But I have to do the check up on an empty stomach. SO, I hope she comes home soon so we can go..

Other than that, I'm feeling better today. I slept last night at 12 and woke up 5.20. So at least 5 hours of continuous sleep:) Oh that's reminds me. Things that interrupts my sleep. Sometimes I forget that there is actually humans living here. All you hear are cars' related sounds. Actually the cars' honk. Is it honk? I'm not sure. But anyway, the people here use it to communicate. But all they wanna say anyway is: Get the hell out of my way!. I'm so tired of the sound!!!!!!! I hate it! All you people who communicate by throwing yourself on the car honk: Take a breath, have patience and whatever you do, DOOOOONT KEEP HONKING!!!!" Honking should be illegal. Hah, as if someone here around follow such laws anyways....*sigh*

Goodmorning!

NOOOO I didn't wake up just now :D
I actually woke up at 8.30 but stayed in bed till 9 something :D
I was able to close laptop and lamps etc last night at 23.50 actually. I fell asleep almost immediately, but I woke up 40 minutes later of an itch in my throat. It took me about 2 hours to fall asleep again :S

So now it's about 4 oclock in the afternoon, I hope the evening comes soon because I'm sleepy...

My day so far:
Breakfast, 2 cheese sandwiches, tea, half 'granatäpple'
20 minutes after breakfast I took 1 panadol.
stomach ache after that....
took vitamins
puzzled for 2 hours
fixed some important things online
had lunch with parents-in-law
took shower
now relaxing a bit, surfing the net and listening to music

Iam doing my best not to fall asleep. If I sleep now I don't believe I'll wake up till around 8. And then I most definetely won't be able to fall asleep anytime before 12 midnight.

Maybe I'll have chocolate croissants for evening snack. Dear mother in law bought some for me in the morning. She got upset when she came home at 10 and found me already awake and with a huge breakfast already in my stomach, hehe. Just hope I get to put my hands on them before someone else does LOL. It's really like living at home with MY parents again with my sibblings. No way for 'saving things for later'. Eat it now or lose it. Hehe.

Goodnight?

I ate, I took 2 panadol and here's the stomachache as a letter in the mail. Aotch.. I still do believe the stomachache is because of the panadol.

Anyways, you know what? Iam going to close everything and force myself to sleep. From now on Iam going to try to go to sleep at 12. Wish me good luck. I'm not so sure it going to work succesfully, but Iam going to try. So goodnight everyone!

Goodmorning y'all

Okey it's almost evening now. Late afternoon. But if you don't sleep until 4 in the morning it's pretty noonish don't you think? At 4 that's when I fell asleep.... *sigh*

So today I'll only take one Cal-C-Vita since it contains caffeine, or was that the panadol? Well anyway Iam feeling much better today hamdella. I didn't even take any panadol today. My throat is still swallen but only on one of the sides) Hamdella.

New discoveries (for me) that I want to share with you:
If you get a bee sting, put a garlic piece on it, the juice helps a lot
If you have a sore throat gurgle several times a day with pure lemon juice

That's all for now:) I think Iam going to take a nap. I'm sleepy

I didn't sleep yet

I closed the laptop, the lamps everything. I tried for a whole hour but just couldn't relax and sleep. I keep yawning but Iam feeling like dancing. Too much energy to sleep. How that is possible is a mystery to me. To have so much energy but still feel sleepier than ever.......


*update* great, now I got stomachache aswell..........maybe bec of the meds? even though I haven't taken any on an empty stomach?

My fears

It's 2.15 at night. I'm afraid to go to sleep. For time being it feels okey to swallow liquids, still some pain, but okey. I don't have a headache anymore, just feeling feverish. But I fear that I'll wake up tomorrow and feeling as if I have 2 tennisballs in my throat and a bowling ball as my head...............

I think I might have tonsillitis

"Symptoms of tonsillitis include a severe sore throat (which may be experienced as referred pain to the ears), painful/difficult swallowing, coughing, headache, myalgia (muscle aches), fever and chills. Tonsillitis is characterized by signs of red, swollen tonsils which may have a purulent exudative coating of white patches (i.e. pus). Swelling of the cheeks and neck may occur...."

Source

So why do I think I might have it? Well because I have:
a severe sore throat
painful AND difficult swallowing
headache
fever
red, swollen tonsils+white spots
swelling of neck...

Please, say it isn't so?

Today EVEN WORSE!

Okey thank God for more sleeping hours last night:) And the lack of fever. I felt feverish till around 2 oclock at night then I slept and woke up around 6 I think. Of course I slept again :)

Finally at 12 today I said goodbye to the bed and left it all alone. I struggled with the breakfast(didn't know swallowing could give so much suffering) afterwards I took 2 panadol, 1 calcevita(vitamins and caffeine hmmm) and gave my throat a sterilisation(?) with lemon juice.

I sure hope I won't be forced to go to the doctor. I don't want to take anymore meds... !!!!!!!!!

Feeling worse today

I didn't get much sleep last night. Maybe alltogether 2 hours. But I slept twice during the day instead. I just couldn't keep myself awake. Could hardly even stand on my two feet. Sooo weak. And I couldn't eat much either. Well later during the day I felt a little bit better, but the fever is back now even though I took 2 panadol 2 hours ago :(

Angepange: you're not updating why oh why?? I want to know what's happening with Jude, Faisal and Khalid!!!! So exciting :)

When I'll be rich (:p) I'll go and buy some books :) Iam so "thirsty" for sitting down with some candy or chocolate and read a good book from the beginning to the end, all after eachother. I believe that's how a book should be read:) By the way, as I wrote on friday, No chocolate on saturday: yes that was my goal and I achieved it. I didn't even eat chocolate today, no need to calculate the birthday cake for DBIL :)

Hm, what else can I say? Ye, I miss my mom, my dad and my sibblings and I just want to go home. It's scary being sick abroad. I am afraid to take medicines and maybe in this way Iam just making it worse for myself. But I don't really trust the pharmacies here. Sorry )))

The flu?!

Ye, I think that's what Iam developing. Unfortunately. I haven't been feeling good all day. I got a headache after breakfast and during the day I got a sore throat. Later in the evening I felt feverish. I have been feeling warm all day but I just thought that was due to the hot weather today. But I actually believe I got fever right now. So here I'm sitting feeling as if on fire. My forehead is pounding and the area around my eyes feels swallen. It's pounding in my ears(usually do that when I got a headache) My head doesn't ache as it usually does, it's more like I feel it's heavy and hard like a stone, from inside. Difficult to explain. But anyway the result of all this is: IAM NOT FEELING VERY WELL!

And tomorrow we are going to the mountains. I'm so not up for it. Especially not with a heavy head and a fever. But I hope it'll all be better until tomorrow..Inshallah.

Nighty night!

Btw I just found a dying mosquito on the bedcover. Thanks!!!!! Maybe I'll get a mosquito free night, since I already got a bite during the day, and one yesterday(on my toe, ewwww)

Two good news gave me a headache

I slept around 3.30 in the morning, same as yesterday. I had some terrible nightmares and woke up because of them around 7, and with the worst neck ache ever. I've probably been twisting around due to the nightmares and ended up in some weird position. 3 hours after I finally fell asleep the cellphone rang. It was my darling calling with some good news inshallah. Oh I miss him so much. Thanks for MSN and phones:) After our phonecall it was pretty impossible to fall asleep again, but finally I did. Just to be awaken 1 hour after that by harsh knocking on the bedroom door. "You've got a phonecall" Whaaat? I wonder who is calling me. I ask her who it is. She tells me it's from an office. An office??? I get nervous and the urge to get back to sleeps comes over me, but I get out of bed and drag myself out of the room to get to where the phone is. "Allooo!?" I say as a true wannabe arab speaking girl. "Is this *******?" Yes it is, I reply and ignore the fact that he just by adding the letter A to my name made it into a whole other name... Like 10 questions later we hang up. Obviously they are working on my visa. Hamdella w kheir inshallah.

So here Iam all alone at home. With typing that I realize that my plans for today amongst other things, was to play wii. But I've just ate breakfast so I don't want to weigh myself. My habit is always to weigh myself after bathroom visit and before breakfast. That way I think it will be most accurate. Hm, but then I realize that the last time I did a body test was when my husband were here and he n bro in law played wii. That was in the afternoon, and I had even ate dinner at that time. So no worries:)
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I connected the wii and pushed the on-button, logged into my profile and started the bodytest. I did 2 bodytests as usual but they werent the same. So I did a third one which wasn't so very close to any of the first ones so I had to do a 4th one. The 4th one showed almost the same result as the 3rd one. So I guess that's accurate.
All of the 4 tests showed a weight of less than 60kgs. So happy with that:) Who cares about my ugly hairstyle now eh:P Well anyways, I didn't continue with any excercise because of the neck pain and plus I just got a headache aswell. Iam going to take a panadol and rest a bit... Wish you all a nice Saturday!

An ordinary friday

Woke up, had breakfast: 2 cheese sandwiches and one egg+tea. 2 hours later lunch/dinner: a piece of fish filé and tabbouleh. 2 glasses of mango juice, one banana, 2 twix.
Interesting right?
I suspect my body being out of balance. I think it's because of all the sugar I eat everyday.
Goal for tomorrow: NO CHOCOLATE!

Tomorrow I might play wii, yey, since my parents in law are leaving in the noon and I decided to stay home. I might actually be able to get some alone time in the house:) I don't expect good news about my weight though. I feel fluffy and fat. But it may only be because I haven't excercised in a while. Maybe I still weigh closer to 60 than 65. I sure hope so:)

One day I need to invest in some new trousers. They just don't look as good on me anymore. I have lost 10 kgs since I bought these trousers. I need some new ones:) Well Im not into going shopping, so who knows when Iam going to buy them....

Now: time to go to sleep. Goodnight and have a nice day tomorrow<3

Hairstyle look-alike

If you are following my blog you know that I got my hair cut off about a week ago. And yes, I still hate it. Why do I hate it? Because it looks like in the picture below.....

(picture borrowed from google.se)

Me the instructor and supervisor

Yes and 2 sweeties were working for me. I told them what to do and they followed orders and it all turned out DELICIOUS!

Ye, I was in the kitchen today:) Actually I did the sallad all by myself. Tomato, parsley, lettuce, cucumber and some onion. Cut it all into pretty small pieces and add some mayo and lemon juice and move it around to let the juice and mayo marry eachother and smuther all their love on the vegetables. Ye what a lovely dish indeed:P And with this we patted and massaged in salt, cummin, black pepper, and lemon juice on a fish filé that was put in the oven for some heat:) Then my mother in law made some rice n fish dish.

I kept myself to my sallad and fish. Don't like when the dish actually tastes fish. Strange eh? :P
My brother in law sat all through dinner saying: mmmm oooh mmmmmmmmm oooh mmmmm"
I'm not really sure it was mmmm because it was tasty or what it was :P

I loved it anyways:)

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I got a compliment today, not just for the food I mean, but another one. It made me feel shy, but also happy:) It was a compliment straight from the blue and nothing I expected to receive. Thank God for everything and for bringing these people to my life. Or actually bringing me to their life:P

Goodnight, it's 3.10 at night/morning.. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Update: Thanks sis for the correct spelling of parsley:D

I love this song!

Evanescence: My immortal

"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"

Wasta

I don't exactly have a word to translate it to. But maybe influence? If you're someone who have some kind of status and can change things. For example if you want to get hired by a specific company it will help knowing someone important in the company. This person, or the relation with that person is called "wasta". If no wasta, you get nowhere. Kind of.. You'll probably get where you're trying to go, but it will take a whole lot of more time to get there. I don't really know what I think about "wasta" yet. I mean it's great, of course, IF you have any. If you don't it's terrible and so unfair. So I guess I dislike it but I'm not the one who won't use it. What a hypocrite eh? Sorry for misspelling but my dictionary is no longer with me:)

People here around tell me you have to use shortcuts or you won't get anywhere. Or more honestly, they say you must cheat and lie or you won't get anything(anything as in any money)... Well I do understand why some people feel that way, but Iam not going to cheat or lie to get my way. And I don't care much about money. I don't need to be rich or have lots of money in my pocket or bank account. I just want enough of it to put food on the table everyday, somewhere to live and somewhere to go if, inshallah not, someone of us needs medical attention.

I strongly believe that being honest and straight forward is the best way to live. It might be difficult at some times, and you might not get what you want. But have faith and trust in God and he will reward you in this life and/or in the hereafter, inshallah. BUT Iam going to surf on the wave of "wasta" for a little bit longer.

Going to the movies tonight

With dear brother in law.

Is your husband treating you right?

If yes, dont EVER take it for granted.
Let him ALWAYS know that you don't take him for granted.
Let him know how much his love and actions means to you. Never forget to treat him in the best of ways too.
And express your love for him all the time,
with words AND actions.

Btw this also goes the other way around.
Is your wife treating you right?

Zozo

You know the movie made my Josef Fares that includes both Lebanese and Swedish environment? Well I've just watched it for the hundredth time. I always think of my old friend from school(now my DH)as Zozo. Hamdella their story isn't exactly the same, but the personalities of Zozo and my dear husband is really similar.

I love the movie and I love you B!

Btw if you didn't see this movie till now go and borrow it. The name is "Zozo" and is about this lebanese boy and his family, the war in Lebanon and how it might be coming to a new country.

Meetings with animals

Last week I got stung by a bee and we also had an interesting visitor at home. Something that looked to me as a big fat hairy spider crawling on the floor, about 5 cms in diameter. I didn't go near it since they told me it's poisinous and it was killed pretty instantly.

Btw why have I never heard of putting a piece of garlic on the bee sting before? If we had known that it might had helped growing up with hundreds of bees around.

My new diet

Breakfast: bread+yellow cheese+a cup of tea
Lunch/dinner: 2 slices of Pizza Hut's peperoni pizza+2 glasses of diet Pepsi+chocolate bar

Hey, Pepsi and Pizza Hut await requests for payment of commercial in my blog.

To whoever it was who envied me for my scandinavian fine hair and put a spell on me.

Thank you so much for making me miserable.

The other day I went to the hairsalon to get the split ends cut off of my hair. Well it ended with a whole new hairstyle. One which I didn't wish for. And my demands wasn't taken into consideration. Damn you! Sorry, Iam just so upset. In 2 months I went from longhaired me to short hair me. I've gotten like 30 cms cut off my hair. You have to understand how upset Iam. Ye I know it's just hair, and you might think Iam silly getting this upset just because of a haircut. But believe me.... It's terrible. Iam so unhappy with it. I wish it would help to go to the hairsalon and fix it. But it can only get shorter and it's already too short... So I have to do the best of it and just hope it won't take long for it to grow out. Which I know it will. My hair grows superslow:(
Blllllllllllllaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Friends

I hope everyone had a nice eid.

I'll be updating soon.

What happened with Mel, Faisal, Khalid, Jude??? And horrible mother in law??? I'm dying to know!!! Well I'll take the time soon to check it:) Ange> Don't erase your blog till I've read it!!!! Hope you get it published. Inshallah.

"I´m so excited...."

"and I just can't hide it...."

Today when I woke up and greeted the parents in law, they saw my silly smile and commented it. LOL. Well what to say.....
Forgive me for being excited?
Forgive me for being happy?
Forgive me for not hiding it very well?
Or I think the most appropiate would be:

Forgive me for my lower mood the past 2 months!

Well Iam missing you and it's difficult being without you.
Nothing is motivating me.
I need you!

Like a thief in the night

I'm moving slowly and as quiet as I possibly can. Everyone are sleeping and I am going to the kitchen, to the bedroom, to the toilet, to the bedroom, to the kitchen again and then back to the bedroom.. Oooouf, and each time I open the bedroom door it makes such an annoying sound. I feel so bad! I think Iam disturbing everyone's sleep. They say they don't notice. Or at least till yesterday... Dear mother in law informed me that she woke up at 5 when I went to the bathroom and that she couldn't fall asleep again after that:S But what can I do? I have to go to the bathroom. I can't stay all night without 1 or 2 visits. Especially now during Ramadan and all the liquid intake is done in the evening:S

I've just fixed my eyebrows and scrubbed my face with a leefeh (spelling?) and it feels so smoooth:) And I smell vanilla:) Have you tried Fa's bodywash? Vanilla yoghurt and honey? You'll smell nice and your skin will feel soooo smooth:)

Oh, too much of nothing. Goodnight. Again. Or actually goodmorning

27th of Ramadan

Yesterday we went to a restaurant for iftar. I wasn't in the mood at all and didn't want to go. But dear mother in law insisted so I went anyway. I got 30 minutes to get ready. That was more than enough. Ye, well I don't need much time to get ready since Iam already beautiful. You know Iam joking right? Kinda:P

(We should all think of ourselves as beautiful and don't be like in my homecountry where it's almost "bad manners" to be proud of who you are or how you look like. Of course it shouldn't get out of hand, but we should feel good about ourselves, it's really important. Well moving on. )

So after finally finding a place to park the car, we had to walk for like 10 minutes. And poor me, I was wearing heals!!! Aotch my feet. I sooooo wanted to get in and sit down asap. When we finally did find our seats and relaxed for a while suddenly everyone starts clapping and standing up. What's going on what's going on I thought to myself. Who is coming??
Well the one and only Saad Hariri! Iam not so easily impressed of either presidents or other celebrities, but if I'd say that I didn't feel glad he was there I would be lying. Why was I happy to see him there? Well because I know lots of other people would've LOVED to be there. So I have to enjoy it for them who weren't. Right?

He spoke for about 15 minutes or maybe more:) I didn't understand everything he said, but he talked a lot about the lebanese peoples dream about Lebanon. Lebanon as it used to be, or how it should be. Calm and peaceful. And for it to be the country all people want to come to and enjoy their vacation and so on. The country that has electricity, water, schools etc working PROPERLY. He also spoke about the palestinians. How we mustn't forget about them. And let them always know that we are supporting them as our brothers and sisters. Mr. Hariri said much more things but I didn't have anyone to translate for me so what I mentioned is the things that I understood and felt the urge to write about.

Wish you all a nice day even if you don't meet any presidents:P

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My suhoor today: 1 bounty, 1 muffin and one glass of Pepsi. Superhealthy............

26th of Ramadan

Say whaaaat!?!?!?!?! 26 days of Ramadan has soon passed by. I must admit that I haven't succeeded reaching my goals. But I have still some days left. But I have almost 30% left of the message of the Holy Quran... How am I going to finish that in 3-4 days? Hmmmm.... If I don't succeed, it will be the FIRST Ramadan since 2000(that's the year I became a muslim officially) that I didn't read the whole Quran.... Sad:( I'll try to make it. It's not over till it's over, right?

Yesterday we ate lahm biajin(or however its spelled) it means basically: meat in dough. It's tasty:) I ate one, and a half a plate of sallad. And 2 dates, and a bowl of lental soup. Or I guess it was beans...Anyway. Yesterday I had pea soup. It was supertasty. It reminded me of Sweden:) Actually we were also served fish and bbq chicken pieces. But I ate dates, soup, sallad and one lahm biajin. Not a lot. But enough:) I was asked if I wanted Pepsi. I said no thanks, later. Planning on drinking a glass of it with my suhoor. Since I know that I'd be eating a snickers. Chocolate and the black poisined water is so tasty together:) But I've already ate suhoor, and I forgot to put Pepsi. Well I guess that's for the better. Since I ate also a doughnut for suhoor.. Hmmm. So 2 doughnouts for me. No more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to gain weight again:)

On saturday we are invited to a restaurant for iftar. I guess it will be the last day of fasting. Or maybe Sunday, anyway, Iam looking forward to it and I hope they serve tasty food. The restaurant is near "our" mountain house, so I'll be wearing a jacket, trousers, long sleeve blouse and socks and hopefully a "blanket" too:)

Mmmmm....Yesterday I helped my brother in law with the puzzle and ye I actually helped. Helped as in connected like 50 pieces:) Just about 2900 left... Oooouf!!!!
Now it's 4 oclock here and Iam bored, no one has updated their blog... Iam searching for new blogs but not finding any interesting, do you know of one? The morning pray isn't till 5 oclock. That's another hour.. Must....Not.....Fall.....A.....S....L...E...E...P..........................................

25th of Ramadan

I've just had a cheese sandwich. Dry dry dry dry since Iam not putting butter or jam. Only cheese and the bread. Mmmm I'd like to put some nutella... Mmmm but that will be SOOOO unhealthy and I'll be eating the rest of the nutella remaining in the jar in one day. Is there anything tastier than nutella? And it fits with everything. Especially chips. Ye I know, but don't say it isn't tasty until you try it.

Today I don't know where we are going to eat. I heard something about eating outside but I hope we are going to eat at home. Iam not in the mood to go out again and just hoping the food that will be served will be tasty. At home at least I can have some input:)

Now Iam going to continue reading your blogs, which I hope some of you updated since I checked last time, then Iam going to pray fajr and sleeeeeeep. Iam not sleepy yet, but I do wish to have sleeping hours as a normal person....

24th of Ramadan

Today we went on an event for iftar. The place where it was held was a ballroom and the decoration was amazing. If my wedding were to be held indoors I'd love for it to be there. So classy, so romantic so beautiful. But I've already had my wedding and it was perfect!! So moving on:)

The food was really great. Mezze was served, you know those small dishes of everything you can imagine. They served 3 main meals, one was with fish, another with chicken, and the last one was sheep and moghrabiyeh. Of course I ate the one with chicken. But without chicken. Don't ask me why. As soon as it ended me and my brother in law left. He invited me for ice-cream. That was sweet of him, as sweet as the icecream:) I chosed dark chocolate+strawberry icecream with chocolate chips and gummybears. Ye they mix it in the icecream:) It was tasty, but I advise you NOT to put gummybears in the ice cream because when they get cold, they are so hard to chew. I wish I chosed Kitkat crunches instead:)

When we came home, me and brother in law sat down and tried to connect some pieces of the puzzle. I succeeded with 7 pieces...Oooouf it's so difficult now in the beginning.

Life is passing by and not much is happening. Still standing and stamping in the same place. Kinda....


Just a reflection: doesn't people know that it's bad to smoke ciggarettes? Doesn't people care how it looks when they are wearing a veil holding and sucking on a ciggarette? It just looks soooo wrong!!!! As if a halfnaked woman would be walking around with a Quran in her hand..I hate ciggarette smoke, and think it is very selfish of people to force us non-smokers to be passive smokers. SELFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why isn't it prohibited to smoke in-doors? Oh well it's Lebanon, what do I expect? It's not their fault that they got a million more important stuff to think about and to rule about then a silly law against smoking in public spaces.....

Very important information!

It's raining again!!!!!!!

Oh I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooks!!
Marabou chocolate
Herbalspice(örtkrydda)
Vanilla sugar/powder
Zoega's coffee
Chocolate bars with pieces of liquorice in it
Liqourice tablets in a small box(I forgot the name)

OOoooOOOooOooOooOooOooOh I so wanna go to Sweden and fill a whole suitcase with the above mentioned things......... AND to see my family:)

If you have any of the following symptoms-move to Lebanon!

*Dry skin
Okey that's all :P

I've noticed since I came that I do no longer need to use bodylotion. Before I was using it on a daily basis, several times a day. Iam now using those hard pieces of soap. I haven't been able to use them for like 20 years. Iam using them everyday now and I don't even need to use handlotion afterwards. I'm amazed:)

Today we had a small barbeque action going on. Chicken filé pieces and kafta. I ate kafta, sallad(t) and some homemade fries. And dates. Mmmm I have to break my fast with dates. It's the thing I look forward to much during the day. Dates! And water. And ye soup aswell:)

Well now Iam going to watch TV for a while more and make myself a sandwich and drink some cool mango juice before I go to sleep. I think we are going to get morning visitors tomorrow. Oh well they come in the morning but stay till the evening:) But Iam not really sleepy now, no wonder, I woke up at 5 in the evening.......I slept for 12 hours! I do feel a little energized, yey:)

23th of Ramadan

Yey, so many of you have updated your blogs. Iam very very pleased:)
Iam back in Beirut. That's all. For now.

21st of Ramadan

It's almost 4 oclock over here. It's quiet outside. Actually it's quiet in the whole house. Not a sound can be heard. Or... The only 2 things are me tapping on the keyboard and the AC in my room.

Yesterday my parents in law were here. We ate wonderful tasty stuffed zucchinis/minisquash. I love them!!!! I could eat them everyday. But then again, I wouldn't be able to eat them for years afterwards. I mean you get tired of eating the same thing day after day after a while;)

I just ate a small sandwich with turkey and I filled a bottle with cold water. I have to check how much water Iam drinking a day. Before I had such control and knew exactly how much I was drinking a day. But now when Iam fasting, it's so hard to keep track of that, besides I don't have much time to drink as I use to or as much as I should.

Tomorrow, well actually it's today))) I'll be helping my brother in law with the puzzle he bought, inshallah. He is funny, he bought a puzzle of 3000 pieces. A puzzle with a motive with only one color. Kind of. It's so difficult!!!! Oh well, it'll be nice spending some time with him. Even if we aren't speaking a lot to eachother we really feel close. It's pretty funny that I have a better/closer relation with my brother in law than with my sister in law. It's interesting how I always get a better contact with persons of the opposite sex. It has been that way for as long as I can remember. Being friends with a girl always involved competing some how. In beauty or whatever. Except for with my best friend. We just clicked. Slowly but firmly:) I love you J!

Later today we'll be going up to the mountain and won't be home till Sunday evening inshallah.
We will be breaking the fast with my husband's uncle+wife, husband's cousin+husband+kids, sister in law and her family aswell. Waw, almost the whole family:P It's going to be nice. I just wish my husband was going to be with us....

20th of Ramadan

Iam so tired, my body just feels as some cloth on a hanger..Floating here and floating there.
Iam being told to sleep at night and not during the day. Ye well, they might be right. But I have tried that before and I still remain so tired...
Just 10 more days and I'll be sleeping at night inshallah.
Now my dear mother in law is fixing in the kitchen..I gonna go and ask if she needs help. Maybe she accepts...
Soon it's time to break the fast. I can't want. My brother in law brought us cake!!! Yey:P

I just don't fit in! And I don't care!!!

I dislike going to the hairdresser here. They ask me if I want some volume. "No, thanks, it's fine like this. Or I'll fix it by myself at home" (I know how they fix volume here, 1 m high and with half of my hair fallen off). But last time I let him fix it anyways since I was going to an event.

And, did he pull for his life? Yes!
Did it feel as if my sculp were going to be pulled off? YES!
Could I brush my hair the next day? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aotch!

Iam just going to NOT try to fit in. My hair is straight, soft, smooth, fine(as in thin) and it's not normal with volume in this kind of hair. Leave my scandinavian hair alone!

I want you to be here!

And if you'd bring earplugs with you that would be even greater.
I miss you

I should feel ashamed of myself!

And yes I do.
My sleeping habits have just been crazy for the last couple of years. And I have been so tired for so long I can't even remember when it started. But it's at least 10 years ago. I think more likely 15 than 10 actually...
Nowadays Iam going to bed around 5 in the morning and stay asleep till 2 oclock in the afternoon. That's just so wrong! But it feels so good to eat suhoor and pray fajr before I go to sleep.....
The bad thing is that the whole world (including my in-laws)and outside my window wakes up at 7-8 in the morning. And usually the sounds wakes me up. So that gives me 2 hours of continuous sleep. ONLY! That's not good. Maybe a reason for me being so tired? Well.... I don't like it. I want to go to bed at 22-22.30 and sleep till 7 or so in the morning and just feel so good and energized during the rest of the day. Will that ever happen?

The strength of a man

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It is in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It is in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by.
It is in can he be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.

It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

(poem by Jacqueline M Griffith)
found here

19th of Ramadan

Again Iam sitting here...With the poisoined water..Ye that's coke. Or actually Iam drinking Pepsi. Or actually I've just emptied the glass. It wasn't even tasty, but yet I had to drink it all up. I also had a Kitkat. Well you have to have Coke or Pepsi when you eat Kitkat. And also when you eat snickers or chips or peanuts.
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I was thinking about maids earlier today. I don't feel comfortable with a maid. I don't know why exactly, maybe because Iam not grown up with one? Or just because it feels strange having a person outside of the family living with us? Well if one day I need a maid and can afford one, I'd still want my children to do some things by themselves. I don't want my children to grow up and get everything served and done for them. They should be able to put their laundry clothes in the laundry bin, leave the bathroom as it was before they took a shower etc. Small things, easy things that doesn't even take any time. I don't want my children to grow up and not being able to do anything except eating, drinking and sleeping. What if they grow up all their life being spoiled doing nothing at home, when they'll move out they are going to expect their partner to do everything for them. Unless they get a maid too. I don't want spoiled bratty children...
I am not saying that people who have a maid are spoiled or to stupid to put their laundry in the laundry bin..But some people who grow up getting pampered this way get the wrong idea about life. (It's not only about maids, some children get so pampered by their parents too)And when they get married they just going to expect their partner to spoil them the same way. Turn their partners into their maid...

For God's sake, my mom put up a sign on the door in our home that said: "Your mom doesn't work here, clean up your mess!"
We laughed and made jokes about it, but we knew it was true. We had to take responsibility for the household aswell. And we turned out okey.

It's raining!!!

Yey, it's raining here for like the first time in 2 months. I don't even know when it rained before I arrived. It's wonderful. I hope it's going to smell rain everywhere tomorrow. You know that fresh smell that only comes after it has been raining? I doubt it's going to be the same here as in Sweden. But rain is so refreshing. I hope it rains all night.

20 minutes later and it is still raining. It doesn't smell refreshing just yet. It smells dust and dirt. Pretty much as when you're picking potatoes from the field...

I hope I'll never:

tatto my eyebrows
do any kind of surgery for vanity reasons
care about having the latest model of car, cellphone, laptop, clothes etc
measure people's worth according to race, color or beliefs

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you may wonder why Iam writing this... Well it's because these are some things that Iam seeing now during my "new" life. Things that I sooo don't agree with. I am not naive enough to believe that the environment doesn't effect us. So Iam just hoping that in these issues and some others I'll stay the same..

******Always remember*****

Always remember that every person you meet thru your life, they also meet you. And whatever impact you've made on them, they may remember it all their life. If it was a bad impact they may suffer from it everyday for the rest of their lives. If it was a good impact they will remember it too.

Remember that what happens to us thru our lives shapes us. Bad or good. What happened in our lives made us who we are. But only we ourselves are the ones who can decide HOW we should let ourselves be shaped. Should we make our experience our weakness or our strenght? This decision will also be based on how we were raised, and more importantly on who we are deep down inside.

I don't believe that all of us IF we had the exact same upbringing, experiences and people around us that we would end up having the same personality and character. Eventhough this is an experiment impossible to go through, Iam pretty sure Iam accurate.

God made us, he gave us strenght and weakness. It's up to us how we are going to use them.

Be nice to the people you meet. Everyday. Even just smiling at someone in the street may be a huge thing for that person.

Think of who you are and what you are doing and who you want to be.

Display yourself in the way that show's ur real true self. I believe that everyone are good deep inside. I might be naive, but I don't care.

I believe that every person have a good heart, at least to begin with....

So PLEASE, think of who you are and how you treat people.

If you think your children and grandchildren one day deserve to have nice good people around them, think of how you are treating the people living today. Because they are the ones raising your future childrens schoolmates, friends etc.

Also remember: It's never too late to make a change!

Think before you act that's all I got to say!

18th of Ramadan

Lovely days are ahead. Iam feeling them getting closer!

So here Iam, as usual, especially during Ramadan-eating. Very healthy. NOT! Bounty and muffin... Hm. I guess I am putting on the weight I've lost since I came. Hope not. Better check wii some day soon:P

Nah, I don't have anyting to say today.. Iam just waiting for someone to update their blogs, but nothing is happening:(

Today we are going to eat at home in Beirut:) And I guess there going to be a small invasion of kids coming here after about 4 hours. Wihoooo, not. I need my beauty sleep:P

Cake anyone?

After bad service at the hotel where we had 'iftar' we dropped half of our group off at home and we went to a new opened café. This is what I ate:)

I promise you...It was not worth it. It looks tastier than it was.

Life is made of waiting

What are we waiting for? The whole life we are just waiting for the next thing.
Just don't forget to live while you wait because suddenly it all going to be over and we are going to be judged and send to where we belong. Allah knows best.

Yes, Iam waiting too...Iam waiting this minute for my brother in law to get ready so we all can go out for iftar. I wish my husband was coming with us. I miss him so much. Unfortunately he is in another country. Well, I know why he is there, and that makes me a little stronger. Mashallah aleih. W alhamdulilah.

Yes, it's still me!

Iam just changing a little bit on my blog. Hope you don't mind:)

17th of Ramadan

Can you believe it? Days has been flying away. So fast! Subhanallah. I hope the following week will fly pass us aswell. Just inshallah we solve some things along the way.
Now it's time for me to go to sleep. With a smile on my lips. Yes that's right. A smile!

Goodnigh/goodmorning everyone!

So ye...I'm back!

It's in the middle of the night and I have no idea of why Im still awake. Since Iam not fasting I don't need to stay awake for the morning pray or to eat something before that. But here Iam. Wide awake. Iam even planning on leaving the bedroom and go watch TV for a moment. All the good movies starts at night. Don't know why, but it's true.
Well I guess a good reason for me not being sleepy just yet is
1. I slept 9 hours last night/morning
2. I took a one hour nap around 5

Well those are the days of my life. Oh I miss the serie "Days of our lives". What happened to what's her name and what's his name? And to their friend's? Did they break up or did they patch up their relationship? And what about Grey's Anatomy? Last episode I watched was when Meredith and Dr Dreamy was getting married... Hm well.. Maybe one day I'll get the seasons on DVD:) I'd also like to watch all the episodes and seasons of "Friends". Ye I haven't actually watched them all. My brother does actually own all of the seasons. But he is far far far away from me... I miss my family.

Bone marrow

What a strange name chosen for a hair conditioner don't u think?

"Bone marrow is the flexible tissue found in the hollow interior of bones. In adults, marrow in large bones produces new blood cells" Wikipedia

Wii owii

I played wii today. Mostly just to check my weight. It's been a week ago since I played. I remembered to check the settings of my profile today. I noticed that my lenght has been saved as 2 cms shorter than Iam. That gives me a higher BMI. So I fixed it now and my BMI is around 22.3 instead of 22.8:D But my weight is pretty much the same. Between 60 and 61. Since the body test gives me different results from each test I decided to use the 3 that were closest to eachother and those gave me a BMI of 22.30-22.33. I also got it to be at 22.15. But I guess that's not accurate:) Unfortunately;) Maybe next week.

Iam not feeling too well today so I only played for 20 minutes, took a shower and took panodil. Oh by the way, it's not called panodil here, it's Panadol. Maybe it's just called panodil in sweden?

Memories

We did some shopping when we were in Turkey last month. Actually my husband did the shopping and I was mostly trying the clothes that he suggested and that I also agreed on. Some of them we bought, some of them got rejected(by me). It's so nice to put on those specific clothes. Because it reminds me of the time we had in Turkey and the fun we had going shopping.
Awww I miss him so much......

Unwanted guests.... Updated!

I was relaxing on the sofa all by myself, minding my own business and watching tv. I was very pleased for the lack of mosquitos tonight. Suddenly I see something moving near the door of the bookcase. What was that?!?! When I looked again to see if it really was something there or it was just my mind playing me I saw nothing. I continued watching TV. After a few seconds I see, in the corner of my eye, again something moving. OH MY GOD!! What was that? Is there a ghost living in the bookcase coming to haunt me? (ye i know, too many scary movies;)) I keep looking even if I see nothing but the bookcase. But wait a minute......What?! What is that? A black line is moving..What the *** is that?! I see another black line just beside it...WHaaaat!? Those two black lines were like 4 cm each! Creeped out by the fact that this is probably a cockroach I run to the kitchen to get the bug spray. When I come back the bug is nowhere to find. I move the sofa, check underneath it, I look inside the bookcase, no trace of the bug. And Iam too creeped out to actually move the things around which are in the bookcase, to check maybe the bug is hiding behind it. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew this was the worse experience so far. Still we have a HUGE cockroach in the home!! Iam scared! It was so big, it could probably eat me if it wanted to. Ye, if I gave it a knife and fork it might be able to eat me all. It was huge, Iam not even exagerating. I tried to take a picture of the two black lines, but the stupid camera didn't work. Two lines-tentacles!





So today I've met HUGE creepy cockroach and it's friends the earwigs(???) that were on the bathroom floor. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew I don't like bugs:( Iam sure I am going to have nightmares about bugs...The movies I've been watching doesn't even feel scary to me anymore....

Much bigger than this one and much uglier too!!!!!!!!!!!

*Must remember:

to tell the maid in the morning to go for a bug chase, starting inside the bookcase. Probably with me standing on the sofa*

updated: the chase on the bug continues. We didn't find it today so it probably continued it's visit somewhere else in the home. The maid also informed me that the other night she felt a cockroach on her head LOL. Poor maid. But she said it and was smiling and laughing so I guess she doesn't care.

14th of Ramadan

Oh no I am watching another scary movie about a girl haunting her ex-boyfriend. Eeeeeeeeeeew it's so scary!!! But I can't stop watching......................................................................But I think it's near the end now..
Watch the trailer:D


The name of the movie is "Shutter" it's with Joshua Jackson.


Later today we are leaving hot trendy Beirut for cool relaxed 'mountain-city'.
I'll be back on Sunday inshallah.
Wish you all a very nice weekend!

13th of Ramadan *updated*

Iam still waiting for the morning pray. I don't know if I can stay awake much longer. But I fear that if I fall asleep now there's no way I'll be able to wake up before 8. And I should pray the morning pray before 6 oclock, for it to be on time. And for it to be on time is indeed my goal. So I better not go to sleep....

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You know what?? I have one mosquito bite on my hand, 2 on my arm and one on my back. At least those are the ones I've discovered so far. I tried to kill that big ugly mosquito several times, but it was a very lucky one. And hungry obviously..Grrrr I hope they wont itch too much or I might lose my mind.. We'll see tomorrow. Usually it takes about a day to feel their real level of itchiness....Akh those mosquitos-can't you just leave me alooooooooooone????!?!??!?!??!

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We've broke the fast, prayed and now everyone has left. Gone, puff, Iam all alone. But it's okey, Iam enjoying the TV all by myself. Today we ate the tastiest food ever. Spiced rice, chicken and pinenuts. It should be eaten with yoghurt, but I prefer without. The only thing I missed was almonds sprinkled on top:) Well we can't have everything we want can we?
We got some great news today, HAMDELLA. Just hope there is still time left to make it happen. Kheir inshallah.

Too afraid to go to sleep

I've just watch this movie "Whisper" it was a great movie, but too scary for me who going to sleep alone LOL.



Iam going to read from the Quran now and try to stay awake for another 2h45 mints so I can pray the morning pray before I sleep.
Hope I forget all about the movie till then.

I just remembered

Sometimes I realize that just couple of months ago this home was still pretty unfamiliar to me.
Nowadays most things feels so natural for me to do here. Like closing/opening the windows, the ac, be the last one to leave the salon and therefor be the one closing the TV, the lamps etc. Even waking up for suhoor and fixing myself some food feels just like an everyday thing. Yes I do realize that all the things I mentioned are normal and very natural. But Iam me and I know how Iam and Iam just surprised, in a good way, how things feels natural for me now. Hamdella.

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Now Iam going to continue watching a movie and later go to bed. If I fall asleep before its time for suhoor, I do hope I wake up for it.

I want to share this with you:D

I found it here, it's completly copy pasted okey!

""funny story about following sunnah.

There was this beautiful woman, who wanted to get married, but she wanted a very pious husband, so she said that she’ll marry the man who recites the whole Quran every single day, fasts for the whole year and stays awake and worships Allah all throughout the night.

She was a very beautiful woman, and a lot of suitors wanted to marry her, but they knew they couldn’t fulfil the conditions she set. Until this one man stepped forward and said he could fulfil them. So the Imam got both of them married.

After the first night of the marriage, the wife sees that the husband doesn’t recite the whole of the Quran, nor does he fast, nor does he stay awake in the worship of Allah, she decided to let it roll on for a few weeks to see if there were any changes, there weren’t, so she filed a complaint and asked for a divorce.

They are both taken in front of the judge, and the judge asked, ‘What were the conditions of the marriage?’ the man replied ‘They were for me to recite the whole Quran daily, keep fast for the whole year and to worship Allah all throughout the night.’

The Judge asked, ‘ did you fulfil them? The man calmly answered, ‘…yes.’

The judge answers, ‘you lie, your wife has said that you don’t, that’s why she’s asking for a divorce’.

But the man insisted that he had fulfilled the conditions, so the judge asked, ‘did you recite the full Quran everyday?’ The man answered yes. The Judge, baffled asked, ‘how? How can you do that?’ The man coolly answered, ‘I recite Surah Ikhlas three times a day and according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), reciting Surah Ikhlas three times is equivalent to reciting the whole Quran.’ The Judge was intrigued, so he asked, ‘how did you fast the whole year?’ The man answered, ‘ I fasted for the whole month of Ramadan, then kept another six fasts in the month of Shawwal, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), keeping all of the fast of Ramadan then keeping six fasts in the month of Shawwal, is as if you have fasted for the whole year.’

The Judge remained silent, he couldn’t give a reply saying the man was wrong, so finally he asked, ‘ how did you stay awake all night and worship Allah, when your wife saw you sleeping?’ The Judge thought the man wouldn’t be able to answer this one, but the man, cool as a cucumber answered, ‘I prayed Salatul Isha with jamaat, then the next day prayed Salatul Fajr with jamaat, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), the one who prays Salatul Isha and Salatul Fajr with jamaat, it is as if he had stayed up all night worshipping Allah.’

The Judge sat there looking at the man; the final verdict was about to be released…

He said to the man and his wife, ‘…go, just go, there is nothing wrong with this marriage’… ""

Ache*2

I slept 3 hours yey. In the morning I was woken by some kids waaaay to energized) Afterall it was just 8 oclock in the morning and I had been sleeping for 3 hours.... Well I stayed in bed till 11.30 but didn't get much sleep anyways.

So here Iam, with headache and stomachache. Just great!

12th of Ramadan

Today, or actually yesterday was an unusual day. I woke up at 9 and went back to sleep at 2 in the afternoon, slept for 2 hours then started to get ready for the charity dinner we were going too. The dentist appointment effected me, I got so tired. Well maybe the lack of sleep last night contributed to my sleepiness aswell;)
So we went to the charity event around 6.15. Abour one hour after we arrived, I heard the calling for pray, for the first time, LIVE. With the man calling for pray just in front of me. Subhanallah, it was magical. There were also a group of children performing songs about the prophet (saw) etc. That was just soooo wonderful. If there is anything more beautiful than a child's voice singing, oh please do tell. Mashallah.

I almost didn't eat anything since I was still feeling the painkiller injection. And I was also told to avoid coloured food. So I chosed to eat only white food. Which there were none of;) Well I ate a little bit more than that just because I had to.. And a couple of hours after I arrived home, I made myself some sandwiches and soon Iam going to eat a banana and drink water. And after that it's time for Quran-reading and then pray the morning pray and THEN going to sleep.

It was a pretty enjoyable day. Eventhough I couldn't eat properly, Iam pleased with how the day went and mostly about how my teeth looks LOL. All of you who got white teeths or at least teeths without miscoloured lines on them: be thankful;) Well, we should always be thankful for whatever we have and for what we don't have.

Love to you all! And peace!

It's going to be wonderful!!!

Yes it's going to be wonderful to be able to smile without feeling more or less ashamed. Last year I got my front tooth fixed in Sweden. A month afterwards the material they had used to fix the hole, got miscoloured. So ever since then I've been walking around looking as if I had food still on my teeth. Kinda. So today I went to finally get it exchanged to a better material that wont fall off or get miscoloured. And I fixed 2 other small holes.

The dentist were great hamdella. And did a good job. I didn't feel a thing(okey I felt some...) and it looks nice too:) Just hope it lasts, inshallah ya rabb.

I think I now know how it feels after getting botox injections in ur lips;)

11th of Ramadan

Iam sitting here and eating. I already ate one banana, Iam headed for the second one.
My head is aching terribly. But hopefully it will be just fine till tomorrow.
Tomorrow I am going to the dentist at 10 o'clock. Iam not so sure that I'll be able/allowed to fast. I don't think so, but it depends a little bit on what the dentist going to do. But anyway I have the intention to fast tomorrow and we'll see what happens. Wish me luck with my dentist appointment. Iam a little bit nervous, it's my first visit to a male dentist and if that wasn't enough he is also an arab. Iam sorry all you arabs but it's my first time having something "done" to me outside of my country. Iam a bit nervous about that. WHy do we Swedish believe that our medicine in our own country is better than abroad? Or do all people think the same way? Even though I've had my bad experience with Swedish medicine, it just feels much safer there...Well anywhooo it's not like Iam the first person he has ever worked on before:) Going to be weird...It's a he...I prefer females, but no females at this clinic. Or at least no female dentists, only assistents....


To something else, the message of Quran is just amazing subhanallah. I've read it all several times, but each time I discover something new. I guess it's due to where in life we are and in which situations we are handling.

When do you start fasting?

There is something called 'imsak'. It's a timeperiod before the morning pray people have set to be on the 'safe side'.
Well I've found something about it saying that we shouldn't follow imsak. But the time to start fasting is actually when the morning pray comes.
For me personally it doesn't matter this Ramadan since I usually eat more than 1 hour before the morning pray. The other years I've never considered googling about imsak so I didn't have a clue that some people said it was wrong to follow imsak... Well here is what I found....

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Starting a Day of Fasting
(click to open the website)

Q. When should we start our fasting day? Some people say that it starts 10 minutes before Fajr prayer is due; some say only 5 minutes before that; others maintain that it is at the point when Fajr is due and the call to prayer is made. Please advise.

I. Merchant

A. God has defined the start of the fasting day, saying in the Qur’an: “Eat and drink until you can see the white streak of dawn against the blackness of the night. Then resume the fast till nightfall.” (2: 187) So, the start is at dawn, when Fajr prayer is due, and the finish is at sunset when Maghrib prayer is due. There can be no further argument. Yet people have introduced something called Imsak, which means abstention from eating and drinking, and they established various beginnings for it: they put it at 20, 15, 10 or 5 minutes before dawn. They do so out of a desire ‘to be on the safe side’. Yet all this eagerness to make sure is unnecessary. God defined the time and we should keep to it.

Suppose a person wakes up five minutes before the Fajr prayer is due. He can manage to have a drink of milk or water and a bite before Fajr is due. If he does so, is his fasting valid? If those people who speak about observing Imsak time say that his fast is valid, then why start earlier? If they say it is not valid, they commit a huge error.

The point is that Islam does not like this idea of ‘keeping on the safe side’ in matters of worship. It opens the door for rigidity and adding hardship to acts of worship. What is very important about Islamic worship is what God says in the Qur’an, within the context of fasting: “God desires that you have ease. He does not desire that you be afflicted with hardship.” (2: 185) Thus scholars say that if you happen to be drinking a glass of water and you hear the call to Fajr prayer, do not stop your drink. You better finish it. This is because God desire what is easy for us.
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If you want to follow imsak or not you better do research about it..I dont suggest you to follow or avoid imsak..It's up to you. Iam just giving you some info:D

Once again...

Iam feeling the 'winds of change' ahead of us. I just have this feeling tingling in my body that something is about to change. I can really feel it. Subhanallah.

How to tell when someone is tired...

If you're not yawning every second or having other problems like finding it hard to keep your eyes open, the following is a pretty clear sign of your tiredness: trying to wash your face with your glasses still on. Ehm...

Now I've just finished eating suhoor and reading the message of the holy Quran and Iam really struggling with staying awake. The morning pray isn't till after a whole hour. Why do they wake us up more than 2 whole hours BEFORE the morning pray??? Why do people need 2 hours to eat? Do they cook a whole meal of meat cassaroul and rice? Do they??? Well, I don't understand...More than 2 hours??? I wish that they woke us up about one hour before pray. That's enough isn't it? All you going to do is eat anyways....

*yawn* Iam superduper sleepy. I don't know what Iam going to type next.... Oh, that's right! Now I remember.. Do you know what Iam missing? You won't believe it! Or if you know be IRL, you might. What I miss is cleaning up. Get it? I miss CLEANING UP! How sick is that? I know Iam going to regret ever 'saying' that 'how can someone miss cleaning up'??? Well Iam going to explain it for you. Cleaning up isn't just about cleaning. Cleaning up is taking CARE of your HOME. And that is really what I miss the most. A home. MY home. To clean-LOL. No but seriously, I really miss having my own place. My OWN home. My own stuff, my closet, my bed, my sofa, my everything. The place where I feel comfortable and 'safe'. I hope I get the time to land and make myself comfortable in my new home before the 'whole world' comes knocking on our door:P

Thoughts about Tuesday the 1st of September

It's hard to believe August is almost finished......
Well anyway, on the 1st of september, that's on Tuesday, Iam going to the dentist and in the evening we are going to a charity dinner. Or so are the plans till now anyway. I have no clue what to wear. And I want to go to the hairsalon before and let them fix my hair. I know everyone else going to do it, so why not me aswell? Actually Iam so fed up with my hair. So bored with it. Why do we have hair??? Oh well, I was going thru some photos today and I kinda miss my "old hair". Well it's the same hair just another style. I miss it..

And Iam a little bit nervous about going to the dentist. I have some holes to fix and some beauty "construction work":P Kinda... Well enough said about dental work.

My right eye is tired. Ye, only the right one, I can notice when I put my hand over it that I don't feel any pain. But when I use it I feel pain and pressure. Strange...Hope it passes.

Now-going to try to sleep.....................

7th of Ramadan

So here Iam awake, waiting for fajr(morning pray). It's after approxiametly 40 minutes..
I woke up 1½ hour ago, after 1 hour of sleep...Zzzz feeling very tired. But I forced myself to wake up and go to the bathroom and perform wudhu(ablution) to be able to pray. To be honest I wasn't planning on eating suhoor today. But I remembered, after bathroom action that we have some cake..So that's going to be my suhoor. Cake and water. Hmmm I hope I don't gain a lot of weight during Ramadan.....Well the risk of that happening is so high. Not because I tend to overeat during Ramadan but because I don't do any excercise and we eat pretty late, at 7 at night and also in the morning and go back to sleep afterwards, of course after performing morning pray. Not all of us do this of course, Iam just talking about myself:)

Well this is all for now, my brain feels mushy. Not really mushy but as if someone poured syrup in it. Very sloooow and tired:) Going to finish my cake and hope that I don't fall asleep before the adhan for fajr comes.

6th of Ramadan *It smells funny*

I'm sitting on the bed reading blogs, blogging and soon I'll be opening the translation of the Holy Quran. I just had a shower, finally:)

I hear the adhan for the afternoon(asr) pray and there's a smell coming from the kitchen teasing my nose. It smells veggies. I think it's the same kind of soup as we ate before yesterday when we broke the fast. It's a lot of boiled veggies that gets smashed in the mixer and turned to a smooth green/brown coloured soup. Doesn't smell very nice, doesn't look very tasty, and no it isn't very tasty either. BUT it's filled with vitamines and minerals(I guess, veggies do contain minerals don't they???) so I am going to eat it with pleasure to fill my belly with this healthy soup that do good for my body:) We shouldn't always eat what our eyes want or what our tongue wants. Sometimes, more often than we do, we should eat what's healthy for us. But that's easier said than done:)

Well, todays fasting is going pretty good so far, hamdella. Just 3 hours left. Iam going now to pray the afternoon pray, then come back to read Quran. I missed some pages during the last couple of days, so I have some catching up to do...Kheir inshallah. According to my calculations I should read 32 pages each day to be able to read it all during the holy month of Ramadan. Inshallah

6th of Ramadan

So here Iam, awake of course. Iam going to prepare suhoor soon. Its 2.10 at night and I hear the man beating on his drum down in the neighbourhood waking us up for suhoor. May Allah reward him for his doing.

So the reason I haven't been blogging for the last week is that we have been out of internet. It just wasn't working. But today finally the "phone/internet-guy" came and fixed it. He fixed one of 3 phones and then wanted to leave.. No way José, that probably wasn't his name since he is an arab, but anyway, I kept him here till I made sure everything was working. Iam so happy right now hehe. I missed the world out here in cyberspace:)

So ramadan began on saturday, hamdella the days have been going good. Well of course Iam struggling with the fasting and the lack of fluids during the day. What Iam struggling the most with is not being allowed to drink. I feel lightheaded when I don't get enough to drink during day. But that's nothing to complain about, Iam just saying;) Lots of people have it MUCH worse than me, and don't even get to drink/eat after a whole day of fasting. So hamdella.

Not much is going on over here really, Iam too tired to get involved in anything. I prefer just to stay home, pray the prayers on time, read from the Holy Quran and take it easy. At night we gather and break the fast together. My routine is: 3 dates, some water, then some soup. Later the main meal.

The guy is outside our building now. LOL he is funny. One night he comes and says: Oh the father of (some arab name) wake up, oh the father of(some other arab name) wake up.
Next night he says: Come on sleepers, wake up!
He says more than that but I can't really hear what he is saying since he is banging his drum in the same time. But I heard from others that they use to say: Wake up for suhoor the prophet(sallallahu aleyhi wassalam) is coming to visit.
Well I haven't heard that one yet:)
It is pretty nice to hear this guy at night. I know some people would find it disturbing. But anyway we should wake up and eat something and pray the morning pray(on time). Inshallah we'll get rewarded for it.

My goal for this Ramadan is:
read a part of the Holy Quran each day so by the time Ramadan finish I've completed it all
pray all prayers ON time including sunnah prayers, taraweeh and witr
be more aware of what Iam saying during prayers(often it happens that we just recite the prayer without thinking of the meaning)

Inshallah ya rabb!

Well overall my goal is really just to be a better muslim/person. And inshallah it will last after Ramadan finishes aswell. All of us should strive to become better persons all the time. There is already too many persons in this world with bad actions and intentions.


So Happy Ramadan to you all, and may Allah accept all fastings and prayers made during this blessed month, inshallah.

It's almost time.....

Ramadan begins in a couple of days inshallah.
I'm pretty confused. Seems Iam confused a lot these days. Oh well, what's a girl to do?
What Iam thinking about is, if I should stay here or go and stay with my parents-in-law?
With them, no internet, but suhoor together.. Maybe here too, but yet I don't know..Maybe I'll eat suhoor alone. I don't mind, but I just don't want to wake up the whole house doing it. Or maybe that's a positive side since I guess all the people in this house are planning on fasting. Well I just don't know. Tomorrow is the day to decide, join my parents-in-law or stay here another night.

I hope I'll be able to fast at all. It feels as if it's been hundred years ago since last time.

I also hope to eat(find) some tasty dates. The tastiest are those that are packed in a paper kartong box usually imported from Iran. The dates I mean, probably the box too:)

The below are the only ones I eat.

Confused but well

So today I've been playing wii. It's been since last wednesday. That's a week ago. Dear Wii-I've missed you. I played for half an hour, but that was pure excercise, no fun games:)
But anyways what I want to say, the thing that is confusing me is the bmi and the weight according to the wii machine. It says that my BMI is 22.88 and my weight is 134 lbs. I checked how many kgs 134 lbs are. And the websites tell me: 60.8 kg. But if I type in 61 kg for the bmi that doesn't add up to 22.88 more like 22, or less... So which to believe?? Iam going to check the settings for my lenght next time. Maybe it's wrong... Well overall I'm pleased with myself wheather I'm 60 kg or 134 lbs or my BMI is 22.88:) I have been feeling 'strange' for 2 days. Strange meaning weak and tired. But today I feel much better hamdella.

I had the privilige to sleep for 5 hours in a row tonight, yey:) That's been a long time ago since that happened. If had we gotten our little visitors in the morning I would've only gotten about 2-3 hours sleep... So Iam more than pleased:) I woke up around 9 but stayed in bed til 11.30. I was just lying on the bed thinking about life and worldly and afterworldly things and what to have for breakfast.

A cup of tea and mankhoushe(bread with thyme mixture on it) It was pretty tasty. I ate the whole one. Usually I eat a half and my husband eats one on his own and my other half. Luckily he wasn't here today cause he would be hungry since I ate a whole one.

After the wii exercise and shower I ate a banana and drank a glass of juice. Honestly, is there anything tastier than mango juice?? A creamy cold mango juice.. Mmm it's color is refreshing and the taste!!!! Ooooh well I guess you get the point. I love mango juice:D

A lot of talk about NOTHING!

What should I say?

I have nothing to say

All I got to say is

NOTHING

Today I wasn't myself

I have been feeling 'strange' all day. As if my body is yet to decide if it should get sick or fight the virus away.
I've been struggling all day with keeping myself from fainting. Meaning I've been sitting most of the day and if moving, I did that in slow-motion. I wasn't able to do any quick movement. It made the darkness come back into sight...

And now it's bedtime and I welcome(not at all) the ache in my stomach.....

Sometimes

I just wish I could feel more motivated to wake up in the morning

Sometimes I just wish to be able to sleep a whole night without waking up each 5 minutes

Sometimes I just wish I could wake up and have my breakfast alone until my real happy self wakes up

So...

I'm back again here on the sofa in the house that is called home.
It's a home, but it's not my home.
My home is where he is. And he is not here. Right now.



A tough weekend. Not in the mood of blogging. Planning on just being here. Behind the curtains. Reading your blogs...

Ye....

Iam starting to believe that the more expensive something is the better it is. The pistachio(spelling pls) was the tastiest I've ever eaten.

You probably get a headache if it's too hot and you don't drink enough water.

Kebbeh reheated in the micro isn't a good idea.

Paperwork and some arabs goes everything BUT smoothly.

Nuts are tasty.

Strong tea is not.

I don't want more white bread. I want whole-grain. Please

Showering without water is more than a challenge.

To tell someone: "Congratulations! Which month are you in?" to someone who isn't actually pregnant is a never good idea.

Ya Allah, I've been tagged!!!

I was tagged by Jaz for this game. I'll tell 10 honest things about myself then tag 10 other people :)

1. I hate my past but I'm thankful for it, because it made me who Iam today
2. I haven't had my own natural haircolor since years ago
3. I care too much of what people say about me
4. I rather read a bad boring book then spend time with bad people;)
5. I used to wear nothing but black for about 5 years
6. I've had my hair in red, black, brown and yellow...
7. I once lost 36 kgs in 10 weeks
8. I always skipped the gym classes back in school
9. I met the boy that became my husband when I was about 11 years
10. We didn't meet for 13 years til 3 years ago

I tag anyone who is reading and who haven't already done the "honest game"

Question for my readers

Did you make a choice? What did you choose? And why?

Are you all wondering what Iam talking about?

Well of course Iam talking about Islam.
If you don't share the idea of being "just a muslim" but have actually made a choice wheather or not to be a sunni- muslim or a shia-muslim. And more importantly if you choosed to be a sunni-muslim and choosed one of the madhhabs(schools) which one did you choose, and what made you decide this specific madhhab? And if you are a shia-muslim, how did you choose the direction? And which leader are you seeking for help and guidance and why?

Please, Iam sincerely interested to know your reasons.

I'm back!!

Well after a weekend with lots of drama(sorry) I'm back in Beirut. I'm so happy to be back. And yes the AC is working:)
Tomorrow I'm inshallah going to a library with islamic literature. My husband's aunt is taking me.

Just so you know, when Ramadan comes, I'm planning on changing the direction of my blog. Not so much about me. I will try inshallah to type more about what I read about in the islamic books that I'll inshallah borrow tomorrow

Why oh why oh why!?!?!?!?!

Did you guys wish me to dehydrate and leave nothing but a dried out skin on the bed or what's happening???

I just went inside the bedroom, put the laptop on the bed and arranged my things... Lifted up the AC-remote and directed it to the AC and pushed on button. Nothing happened..No beep, no reaction whatsoever from the AC. I turned the remote OFF... Pushed ON again... No beep, and the silent AC machine just stares me in the face, a really evil and sarcastic stare. Yes, if did the AC have any eyes that's how it would stare at me.

So you guys, Iam sleeping in a closed bedroom without any AC in the middle of Beirut.

I am going to feel so hooooot tonight!!!!

Well for all I know swetting is good for the body. It's like a detox... Very healthy....
Who am I kidding? Yiiiiiiiiiiii I don't like to sleep in a hot room!!!!!

B, where are you??? Come and fix the AC! Puh leeeeezzzzzz!?

Thoughts in the dark lonely night

I was thinking.... How Iam sometimes(often) bored and just surf the net hour after hour reading blogs. Believe me it's not all that bad I honestly find it amazing and amusing to be able to read people's inner thoughts or just get a glimpse of their humour. BUT the blogs Iam reading aren't very educational, and I could learn so much more if I just used my time a little wiser.

So here's what I've come up with:
*Iam in an arab country
*I've seen so many books all written in English about all kinds of subjects in life
*The people are pretty english friendly -Meaning most of the people knows English.

So, where am I going with this? Well I have to get my hands on some books about Islam, of course in English. I don't think that is very difficult? I think all I have to do is ask. Someone.
I am really excited about this now. And what a perfect time to start to read and learn more about our wonderful religion, Ramadan is almost here.

Let's "pop" the big question *updated*

Should I go or should I stay?

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okey, I'm staying. at least for another day

A swede's wednesday in Beirut

Okey so what's happening today?
Well for the moment we are 'enjoying' a 3 hours long period of no electricity.. And I'm pampering myself with french manicure. And I just finished plucking my eyebrows aotch.
And before that I had a thrill playing wii for an hour:) Until electricity got cut off. Then I headed directly for the shower to cool down.
Later I'm going out with my sister in law and her cousin. Don't know exactly what we are going to do, I guess just sit in a café for a while. Iam planning on trying to convince them to go to the cinema. We'll see.

Anyways, now its time for the 3rd layer of nailpolish, the most important layer. The white line on the end of the nail. Good luck to me, well thanks;)

Everyone is hot in Lebanon!!!!

Ye, seriously how hot can it get??? Well at least now I got the AC started...I had to change batteries and lots of others difficulties, just hope it still works tomorrow without any fuss.

I just ate mankhoushe. That's bread with zaatar mix in it. Zaatar=thyme(correct me if im wrong Im swedish;)) And of course the usual cup of tea. So now I'm burning hot, not only because of the tea;). I'm planning on drinking about half a litre of water before I get started with the wii routine today. I hope I get to play a whole hour before someone comes home:D

Don't think it's all bad!!!

When I was living on my own I didn't care too much of food. I didn't enjoy cooking nor eating. Now... Ye, well I can't even remember the last time I cooked a meal. Besides the time when I helpt MIL with the tabbouleh(sallad the lebanese way) And oh ye tabbouleh can indeed be counted even as a main dish. I could eat tabbouleh for lunch any day;) Yummiiii

Examples from today on how lucky I am.,,,
I left the bed around 11. Goes to the bathroom, do what needs to be done, like wash my face and brush my teeth. Goes to the kitchen.... Sees my breakfast being arranged and put on a serving plate. Take it and goes sits down in the sofa in the salon and watch TV.
Lunch: goes to the kitchen, take some minizucchinis and some tomato sauce from the Tupperware and put on a plate, stuff it into the microwave and set the timer for 2 minutes.
2 minutes later: Biiiiiing! My lunch/dinner is ready

So what's the deal?
Well my dear mother in law cooked for me yesterday to bring with me to Beirut for today's lunch. It's possible being spoiled even as a grown-up. I like it;)
Who wouldn't?

Now I can truly say I understand why some arab men are so "according to traditions".. All they have to do is "just" go to work and his wife will fix everything at home. Cleaning, cooking and raising the children... Okey don't take me 100% seriously, but you get the point, don't you? But also thru this experience I understand more what it'll mean for my husband when I'll cook for him. Especially since cooking isn't my favourite thing to do.. But we all have to eat don't we?

So the conclusion is:
I have it rather good in Lebanon with my in-laws afterall

What do I want? This:

I want to put MY key in MY lock in MY frontdoor and open MY door to MY home.
I want to enter with my right foot into MY home and feel the familiar scent.
I want to enter MY kitchen with MY stove, MY refrigerator, MY furnitures, MY food.
Later I want to go inside MY livingroom and sit down in MY sofa and turn on MY TV.
I want in the evening to go to MY bathroom and use MY towels and MY soap and MY toothpaste.
After that I want to liy down on MY bed with MY sheets, MY blanket, MY pillow and MY HUSBAND.....................



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yes, whatever is mine is his and viceversa...

Lebanon!!

I love you but without my DH you're just not the same anymore... Well actually you are exactly the same but I'm not... Well inshallah we'll be reunited soon DH and I...........

Have a nice day everyone!!